The Ex Factoe

Imagine this: at a turn on the kerb, you unexpectedly run into your ex. Do you scoot? Or do you squirm? Shilpa Dubey asks experts on how to gracefully deal with the situation

- Shilpa Dubey

Remember that scene in the last episode of season three of Sex And The City, when Carrie and Miranda bump into Aidan and Steve (yes where Carrie reunited with Mr Big, again!)? Flushed and flummoxed, they wriggled into a nearby building’s stairway to avoid getting spotted by the men, and then decided to step out and play it cool in front of them. Instead, they ended up looking vulnerable and awkward—a muddled state that, we’d say, none of us would like to be in, especially in front of our old flames. But, is it easy? Not at all, and several relationship experts agree.

A research by Erica Slotter, professor of psychology at Villanova University, Pennsylvania, and her colleagues affirms that uncertainty is psychologically stressful. The research stated that after burying the burden of the past, and attempts of moving on, our minds protectively block the pain and we become certain that we won’t have to see our exes unless we want to. Mumbai-based senior consultant psychiatrist and relationship expert Dr Shefali Batra agrees with study. That’s psychology, but reality is a parallel space and that’s where we exist; the odds of bumping into your ex are pretty high, as several studies claim. Even Murphy’s Law claims that chances of unexpectedly bumping into your ex and how great you look in that moment is an inversely proportional relationship. We consulted a few experts to deal with the situation and help you not appear as flustered as La La Land’s Mia when she bumps into Sebastian.

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