Your Feminist Dilemmas, Solved

We all have ’em, even in our most intimate relationships. But now we also have the smart women of a secret girl cult to guide us through.

We’re totally pro women here.Obviously. But dating and loving men has a way of unearthing the kind of little feminist dilemmas that make you wonder, at least fleetingly, how bendable your principles are. (For instance, a perfect boyfriend, except that occasionally, after a couple of Hornitos shots, he refers to women as numbers. Keep him? Ditch him? What to do?) You could ask an expert with a Ph.D. Or you 

could hit up the very Brooklyn-cool crowd that is GRLCVLT—an invite-only sisterly hive of 2,700 smart, feminist women, most in their twenties and thirties, who meet in a private Facebook group and IRL to hash out everything from cultural appropriation to inappropriate sex. “It’s so great to have access to women with different experiences,” says founder Remy Holwick, 35, who has worked at a porn store, been discovered by Ford Models (she was a face of Calvin Klein jeans), and will publish a photography book next year. “The whole idea is to talk. And when we talk, we find solutions.” Here, the women of GRLCVLT take on your questions.

DEA JULIEN, ACTRESS: You have the right to feel however you feel. Your number-one priority should be self-care and making sure that you feel safe in your living situation. But if you have the instinct to confront this guy and feel comfortable doing so, then it’s important he understand that what he did is not OK. It might show him that he cannot continue this behavior.