Pushy Galore
Allure|August 2019

The Key To Wellness May Be Embracing A Word, And An Approach To Life, That Many Find Uncomfort- Able, Even Rude. One Woman’s Road To Finding Her Pushy Power.

Liana Schaffner
Pushy Galore

For the record, I didn’t want to write this story. When my editor asked if I’d be interested in researching the link between “pushy” behavior and personal well-being for Allure, my internal response was: I don’t know the first thing about being pushy. Avoiding confrontation is my life’s work. My blood type is basically Jell-O positive. But all of these doubts, lodged firmly in the limbic system of my brain’s subcortex (where fear and emotion camp out), underwent a complete transformation the second I opened my mouth. Like a ventriloquist’s sidekick, I gave an inexplicably upbeat performance and pounced on the assignment. The thing is, saying no fills me with anxiety.

Also, I hate to seem pushy.

That’s why I’m spending this bright and sunshiny after noon interrogating my earliest memories, trying to pinpoint the exact moment when I became—for all intents and purposes—a pushover. This is a difficult thing to identify, because there’s nothing really revelatory about it. Unlike discovering you’re double-jointed or can hit a high C, a tendency to fold under pressure isn’t a hidden talent—though it does involve plenty of hiding. It’s something I’ve managed to keep at a comfortable distance with a bit of creative thinking. To help get my gumption up, I used to read books about brassy females with enough backbone to splinter a corset; I’d conclude that all I needed to comport myself on an equally heroic scale was a high-stakes situation. Given the chance, I’m sure I would have been a great asset to His Majesty’s forces at the Battle of Waterloo. In a more contemporary vein, I think of Nancy Pelosi, a woman in a pink dress and South Sea pearls, squaring off with the Godzilla of bullies. Or Karine Jean-Pierre putting her body between Kamala Harris and an unhinged protester.

This story is from the August 2019 edition of Allure.

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This story is from the August 2019 edition of Allure.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.