All Eyes On Us

Does the Thought of Saying Your Vows, Giving a Toast, or Posing for Portraits Send Your Nerves Into Overdrive? We Can Help! Here’s How to Own the Spotlight on Your Big Day and Be a (Positively!) Blushing Bride.

- Jill Sieracki

Five years after my wedding, I can still see myself walking through the winery’s garden toward my now husband, Michael, who was standing under a rose-covered arch. And I still get flushed when I think back to the wedding guest who told me after the ceremony that I had gently twisted right and left as I held Michael’s hands to recite our vows. “You used to do that when you were little and you got nervous,” he said, giving me a kiss on the cheek before heading into cocktail hour.

I’m not the first confident woman to experience bridal nerves. “Planning a wedding can be one of the most stressful things you’ll ever go through,” says psychologist Jennifer Alison, the best-selling author of How to Talk to Anyone. A bride or groom can face a landslide of feelings, from monumental joy to relief over the culmination of months of planning to anxiety about speaking in front of her guests, dancing in the spotlight, or posing for portraits. “The good news is, there are things you can do to get yourself prepared for your big day,” says Alison, and to coolly navigate all those wedding-day social situations you don’t regularly encounter.

Say “I Do”

Standing in front of a crowd and expressing your deepest feelings could rattle even the most experienced public speaker. To control that anxiety, repeatedly visualize yourself and your soon-to-be spouse standing at the altar, reciting your vows. “The more you envision the moment you are most nervous about, the less daunting it will be when the time actually comes,” says Alison. “Once you’ve let yourself feel those nerves, imagine that moment again, but this time feel calm and confident. See it going exactly the way you want it to.”