The Stress Effect

When Pressure to Pull Off the Perfect Wedding Triggered Kiera Carter’s Past Eating Disorder, She Had to Change Her Approach for the Healthier.

Right after my fiancé, Clint, popped the question on an island in Croatia, we hopped on our moped and did what any newly engaged couple would do (besides take selfies): We got pizza and wine. I savored every minute of that dinner, not just because the food was phenomenal but because the hole-in-the-wall pizzeria we had stumbled into seemed to magnify the beauty of the moment—the two of us alone in a quiet restaurant, where no one spoke English. But I knew that once our plates and glasses were empty, we’d share the news with our friends and family and the demands of wedding planning would begin. It was the calm before the storm.

I feared the stress of it all would trigger my once-unhealthy relationship with food, which began eight years ago in college and included symptoms of anorexia and bulimia. (The technical diagnosis was “eating disorder not otherwise specified.”) At the height of my obsession, I meticulously counted calories, limiting myself to just 500 a day, which I then burned off at the gym for what I considered a net total of zero. Once that inevitably proved unsustainable, I started throwing up my meals. This cycle continued for about two years, as I justified to myself that it was only a temporary means to hit my completely arbitrary goal of 110 pounds.