The Truth About Losing Your Friends
Female Malaysia|November 2018

While getting close to people has never been a problem for the relentlessly positive Sabina Trojanova, she reveals how she is an expert at losing friends while moving from one city to another.

The Truth About Losing Your Friends

“Those who know me well might tell you that I don’t do small talk. I often find strangers confiding in me just hours into our meeting. First impressions are my kind of jam. But as time goes by, most of my friendships dissipate, leaving nothing but faint memories and non-committal requests to get a coffee sometime. I spent years trying to figure out why my friendships have such a short shelf life. Did people just not like me once they got to know me better? Was I too full-on? Or was I too protective of my true emotions? It turns out the answer is twofold. The culprit is my lifestyle and my lack of follow-through. I’m 24 and I’ve lived in five different countries. I travel for a living and I literally meet hundreds of new people every year. I’ve become so used to the transient nature of those connections that I’ve stopped trying to hold on.”

HOW IT ALL BEGAN...

“It all started about a decade ago when I was 13 years old and my parents sat me down and told me that my dad had got a promotion. I’d just returned from a school trip to England and didn’t understand what they were saying at first. Their voices were brimming with enthusiasm but I could tell that they were nervous about telling me that we had to move to Vienna, Austria. How do you tell a teenager to pack her bags and say goodbye to everything she’d ever known without sending her into hysterics? It turns out that it isn’t possible. I’d been a good kid up until that moment; nice and considerate. But the prospect of moving to a new country made me lash out like a terrified wild animal. I locked myself in my room and carved the words ‘I hate you’ on the wall with a pair of scissors. Just thinking about it makes me feel awful – oh, my poor parents!

This story is from the November 2018 edition of Female Malaysia.

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This story is from the November 2018 edition of Female Malaysia.

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