We-Time Not Me-Time!

We’re often told we should spend time cocooning ourselves alone to feel calm and happy. But is that really true? We examine why it’s often better to be part of a crowd

As a concept, me-time makes a lot of sense in our modern world. We’re all so hectic, trying to balance work with family time and other commitments. the idea of sinking into a hot bath for some peace at the end of a long day, or taking yourself off for a solo stroll around an art gallery at the weekend can seem very appealing. and, sometimes, it’s just what you need.

But, argues psychologist Emma Kenny, the benefits of me-time are perhaps overstated when many of us are in fact becoming increasingly isolated. “We may not always realise it because we’re in touch so much with people on social media, but that’s not the same as real human interaction,” she says. the government has just appointed a minister for loneliness, and last year, a report found nine million Britons consider themselves always or often lonely. it can affect anyone but if you’re a single parent, are recently divorced or widowed, care for an elderly parent or work from home some or all of the time, you may be at particular risk. 

Of course, elected solitude is very different from finding yourself spending swathes of time unhappily alone by default. But even if you don’t feel lonely, as such, you may not benefit from too much time to yourself. the fact is, solitude may simply be unsuitable for many of us. “If you’re an introvert, you get energy from spending time by yourself,” says Kenny. “But if you’re an extrovert, time alone can be draining. you’ll be much more enthused when you’re with others.” Psychologists say a lot of us are in fact ambiverts – a combination of extrovert and introvert – so the chances are most of us need to feed that outgoing side on a regular basis.