Switch to previous version of Magzter

Try GOLD

Pecans, Vegans, Runners, and Other Nuts

As I write this my bags are packed, I'll need to move and change my name as I expect a visit from the Animals liberation Army.

Kennesaw

While they may not advocate the eating or using of any animals products, they have no such reservations about shooting a meat chomping, country boy.

I ran five miles a day for over five years, all the while smoking three packs a day; it really toasted the other runner's shorts. One day while running I realized no one was chasing me.

I decided I would never run again, unless someone was.

Later when overseas and involved in Martial Arts, someone convinced me that Buddha, Mohammad, Bruce Lee and Jesus were not only pals but cousins or brothers. It was during that time I became a vegetarian. I spent a year abstaining from meat, but noticed the other vegetarians I encountered were playing with less than a full basket of mixed nuts. It only took one cheeseburger to cure myself of that foolishness. If vegetarians are mixed nuts then Vegans are a nut roll.

A vegan is simply a vegetarian with an attitude, a gun and a little religious fanaticism mixed in. They walk around carrying m-sixteen's wearing those robes made famous by Moammar Gadhafi and Yasser Arafat. They carry signs saying "Kill the Killers" while yelling "Death to all those who kill".

Continue Reading with Magzter GOLD

GoldLogo

Get unlimited access to thousands of curated premium stories and 5,000+ magazines

READ THE ENTIRE ISSUE

September - October 2016

MORE STORIES FROM MANCAVE PLAYBABESView All
Lyena Strama
Mancave Playbabes
4 mins read
Sarah Evans
Mancave Playbabes
2 mins read
Jessica Bevill
Mancave Playbabes
1 min read
A Living Canvas
Mancave Playbabes
4 mins read
You Are Either Not Good At Chatting, Or….
Mancave Playbabes
2 mins read
Daniela Gutierrez
Mancave Playbabes
1 min read
what is rape?
mancave playbabes
6 mins read
the struts: bringing rock n' roll back 
mancave playbabes
2 mins read
jaylene cook
mancave playbabes
2 mins read
Leigh Michelle
Mancave Playbabes
2 mins read
RELATED STORIES
Good Gifts
White Wing Messenger
8 mins read
A Word From My Daughter
White Wing Messenger
2 mins read
La 4T, una guerra cotidiana - Meyer: AMLO convence por su biografía
Revista Proceso
10 mins read
New Evidence Shows LBJ Ordered Killing Of JFK!
National Enquirer
3 mins read
Kim's Secret Psych Squad For Kanye
Star
2 mins read
CORVETTE STINGRAY
360
4 mins read
The cultural pages – Critics
New York magazine
5 mins read
Fabulous Facts: Sheep
Spider Magazine for Kids
1 min read
We Can Trust The Shepherd
White Wing Messenger
8 mins read
Pursue The Holy Spirit: The Word Of God Shows The Way
White Wing Messenger
9 mins read