Centers Of Attention

Trade rumors? Garden drama? The SNL star has a fix for the Knicks.

- Allison Glock

I Watch The Knicks A Lot

In 2014, I got tickets to my first Knicks game. They played so awful, I swore I would never, ever come to another game. I’ve been playing basketball since the sixth grade, so I really do know the sport. I was like: They f---ing suck.

But I gave them another chance. I saw some good ball being played. When I’m out, I find myself talking about what it is that the Knicks need to do.

First of all: Leave Carmelo alone! Carmelo is doing his f---ing job. I understand that Melo takes s---, but I don’t know why. He gets the f---ing points. I would love him to play a little more defense, but I understand why he doesn’t. If he was younger, then I’d say, yeah, yeah, we need to have a little more come from Carmelo. If Carmelo stops shooting, y’all are going to be pissed. Carmelo needs to shoot as much as f---ing possible.

The Knicks are not going to be a championship team with that drama bulls--t. They need to find a solid leader. I don’t mean no harm, but I don’t think they got one now. Someone needs to be in charge and lead. I need to have a meeting with the coach.

Who is the damn coach? Because every time I go, I see a person who looks like the coach, but he ain’t coaching. Am I wrong? I don’t think he’s looking at the team that he has, because if he did, there would be a different lineup.

Derrick Rose—I just love him to death, and I want to trust him. But I don’t. I always think when he goes in for that drive, there’s like a 50-50 chance: Is he going to get his ass knocked out, or is he going to make the shot?