Healing Through The Pain

Isibaya actress Sibusisiwe Jili (29) shares how the loss of her first child helped to prepare her for motherhood the second time around.

Kwanele Mathebula
I fell pregnant when I was 17 years old, and was excited about the prospect of being a mother. Seven months into the pregnancy, I experienced a sharp pain in my tummy and went for a check-up at the hospital. I was later informed that I had miscarried at five months. I had to give birth naturally, and the experience was traumatic. Around the same time, I found out that my mother’s side of the family had problems conceiving, and that I would probably not be able to carry a baby to term. My spirituality was my anchor, and got me through my loss. My views on life changed, and I had a moment when I asked God and myself whether I would ever fall pregnant again. I knew that I wanted to be a mother, and said a simple prayer: “God, when you’re ready to bless me with a child, please bless me with a baby boy”. I then moved on with my life. I shifted my focus to pursuing an education and eventually a career. But, I was still healing from the miscarriage. When I was 27, I took a break from the telenovela Isibaya to reconsider acting as a career. At the time, I also rekindled a relationship with an ex-boyfriend; we decided to pursue something serious. A year later I started getting chubby, but didn’t pay attention to it because I thought it was the result of being happy. My boyfriend took notice, and hinted that I might be pregnant. I took two pregnancy tests and the

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