Bully-Proof Your Kids

Are you worried that your teens will be caught up in the bullying cycle?

- Ellen Whyte

Navy cadet Zulfarhan Osman Zulkarnain was tied up and tortured by 30 or more fellow cadets at the army trainee dormitory at the National Defence University of Malaysia (UPNM) in Sungai Besi. He suffered broken ribs as well as bruises and scald marks over almost 80 per cent of his body. Zulfarhan died on June 1, 2017.

On June 10, 2017 18-year-old T. Nhaveen went out for a burger and a chat with his friend T. Previin. The two boys were attacked by five teenagers aged 16 to 18. Previin escaped after sustaining serious injuries but Nhaveen was beaten so badly that he was left clinically brain dead. Shockingly, there were also burns on his back and he’d been sodomised with an object.

Bullying is on the rise in every country and Malaysia is no exception. One local study found that 82.7 per cent of primary school students and 95.8 per cent of middle school students were psychologically bullied, while 56 per cent of elementary school students and 65.3 per cent of middle school students were physically bullied. Given the magnitude of the issue, what can you do to keep your child safe?

UNDERSTANDING BULLYING

Bullying is a power strategy that relies on intimidation, threat of violence and actual violence. It can be physical but it can also take the form of psychological bullying. Psychological bullying includes:

Name calling and labelling those who are different like, “soft” or “pondan”

Isolating people who don’t fit in, and making sure they know they’re alone,

Scolding and shaming someone in order to “correct” them,

Using threats of violence in order to “instill discipline”,

Ignoring bullying by saying, “boys will be boys”,

Posting nasty comments on social media like, “go die already”,

Starting and sharing nasty untrue stories about someone.