Here’s a great irony: you need money to live and a family to give you life, but putting them together makes you want to move to a cave – alone. Bring on the harmony with these smart strategies for tricky conflicts.
No matter how much (or little) money you have, family can make it so complicated. You might feel totally in control of your finances until your mom makes a snide comment about the price of your new jacket or your brother asks you to chip in for a fancy Christmas gift for Dad. Maybe you feel frustrated by what others want from you – or afraid someone will love you less if you can’t help out enough.
If the angst seems unavoidable, it’s because in scenarios like these, you’re rarely actually talking about money. ‘You’re arguing about security, control, love, rejection and all the other things money represents,’ says Syble Solomon, the creator of money-personality tool Money Habitudes and an expert in behavioural economics. ‘With family, your strongest desire is to be loved and accepted, and bringing up finances can put those needs in play.’ Once you acknowledge what’s really going on, it’s easier to start separating emotions from rands. No-one claims that’s the easiest challenge in the world, but experts do have advice that will work.
Your Parents
If only you could do things exactly like your parents did – and read their minds. Then there’d be no hurt feelings! Sometimes your money choices may be the ones they would make – they raised you, after all – but plenty will and should be based on your own opinions. That’s where things get tricky.
THE CONFLICT: Your parents or in-laws make a judgmental remark about how you spend your money.
This story is from the April 2018 edition of Good Housekeeping South Africa.
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This story is from the April 2018 edition of Good Housekeeping South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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