My wife and I have been ma r three years, and the sex is good,but I wouldn&rsquo;t mind spicing it up a little. Any ideaa aren&rsquo;t too kinky?A&nbsp;The best way to kick sex up a notch: Start early.&nbsp;If you want to have sex on Saturday, start on Wednesday.I&rsquo;m referring to &ldquo;aural&rdquo; sex: your words. But don&rsquo;t start talking porn with her; use your inside voice. Whisper in her ear. Tell her she&rsquo;s beautiful, that you love her soft skin and can&rsquo;t wait to see her naked this weekend. Let her know what turns you on about her and the&nbsp;fantasies you have about what you&rsquo;ll do when you&rsquo;re in bed.Create erotic anticipation using her No. 1 erogenous zone&mdash;her imagination. The buildup will be worth it. DR. TAMMYA Begin by making sure she knows you think the sex is already great (don&rsquo;t forget this step!), then add that you&rsquo;ve been thinking maybe it could get even hotter. After that, askif she has ideas&mdash;I&rsquo;ve found choosing from each other&rsquo;s menus of activities is a great way to heat things up. DR. AARONQ I saw a longtime pal with a woman who&rsquo;s not his girlfriend, and he asked me not to say anything. (His gf and mine are friends.) I want to do him a solid, but this feels wrong. LEN G., RENO, NVA Your buddy&rsquo;s acting in a way that&rsquo;s very hurtful to his girlfriend. If you help him out, you&rsquo;re helping him hurt her, so obviously that feels wrong.Listen to your gut and do what feels right, whether that&rsquo;s&nbsp;avoiding involvement or telling his girlfriend. Either way, stick to your values.Also, what if you don&rsquo;t say anything, and your girlfriend finds out you knew all along? Won&rsquo;t she be furious with you? DR. AARONA You&rsquo;re not required to keep secrets for a friend. Let him know this is awkward for you&mdash; both because of his cheating and because you and your partner don&rsquo;t keep secrets from each other. Tell him it&rsquo;s safest to be honest and encourage him to come clean with her. Then remind him that &ldquo;things slip out&rdquo; and make it clear&nbsp;that, while you&rsquo;re not going straight to his girlfriend to spill, you&rsquo;re not responsible if someone else does. MOUSHUMIA Say you won&rsquo;t offer up the info&mdash;it&rsquo;s really not your secret to tell&mdash;but be sure he knows that, if you&rsquo;re confronted by his or your girlfriend, you&rsquo;re not going to sacrifice your own integrity by lying to anyone&rsquo;s face. DR. TAMMYA If you want to stay pals with him&mdash;and that should be a big &ldquo;if&rdquo;&mdash;stay quiet. Trust me, nothing good comes from inserting yourself into other people&rsquo;s relationship dramas.That said, I wouldn&rsquo;t let him near your gf&mdash; or any other women you care about, for that matter&mdash;because he sounds like he&rsquo;s a real dick. JENA

The Sex Files

The New Yorker

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ARROW RETRIEVER

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DEATH IN VENICE

MOTHERS OF US ALL

ORIGIN STORY

PARADISE LOST

PURE PLEASURE

WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I

STONES OF CONTENTION

A CAMPUS IN CRISIS

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