Bitter Barista

However old you are, our choleric columnist insists you need to learn to behave when you’re in a coffee shop

- Martin Kingdom

I don’t know how to put this any other way than to say some people are just plain rude. Not the smutty-joke kind of rude, but the lacking-in-considerationfor-others rude that used to make stiff-upper-lipped Brits bristle. Feel free to accuse me of nostalgia or stuffiness, but it seems that impertinence is permeating coffee shops more and more.

Baristas have been enduring poor social behaviour for years, probably since the first espresso machine was made and maybe even before. For many, sadly, it’s just part of the job. Unnecessary abruptness, people dismissively dumping change, inappropriate innuendo, patronising tones and speaking on their phone while ordering are par for the course – and certainly not the worst behaviours of the great British public if you work in coffee. Many of you, of course, are wonderful and are very welcome in our establishments; but others not so much, and we’ve been kindly tolerating these people while hoping desperately that their manners will improve.

The genesis of bad behaviour can be difficult to ascertain, but Monsieur Gustave’s observation in The Grand Budapest Hotel that “Rudeness is merely the expression of fear. People fear they won’t get what they want” resonates for service staff throughout hospitality. The rudest people seem to feel the most put out or, worse, the most put upon. But his suggestion that the “most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved, and they will open up like a flower” has to be seriously called into question when you’re buying coffee.