Shhh! Secrets To Silencing Your Inner Mean Girl
Girls' Life magazine|February/March 2019

How to calm the critic in your head... and snag some serious self compassion.

Amanda Tarlton
Shhh! Secrets To Silencing Your Inner Mean Girl

You got a C on the paper you thought you had aced. “Ugh, you’re so stupid.” Then you took an embarrassing stumble during your cheer competition. “You ruined it for the whole team.” And your #OOTD only got 78 likes, compared to your friend’s 126. “Why can’t you be as stylish as her?”

No, that’s not a real-life Regina George talking—that’s your inner mean girl. And if she’s turned your brain into a burn book of hurtful insults and critical comments, it’s time to pull a Cady Heron and squash that critical voice for good. How? It’s all about self-compassion.

Yep, the buzzy wellness word is having a major moment RN—and it basically just means being kinder to yourself.

“Self-compassion allows you to love your true self—your authentic, beautiful, unique and sometimes ‘messy’ self,” explains Jaime Pfeffer, a compassion expert, author and life balancing coach. “It allows you to make mistakes, be creative and boost your self-esteem.”

And just to be clear, self-compassion does not translate to being selfish— because when you learn to embrace your flaws, you’ll actually become a better friend and overall person, too. As Pfeffer explains, the more love you have for yourself, the more you’ll have to give to everyone around you.

To mitigate your own inner mean girl, incorporate one (or all!) of these self-compassion strategies. Brain bully begone…

BUILD BOUNDARIES

A big part of respecting and loving yourself is knowing your limits in every area of your life, from your social sched to your extracurrics—because when you extend yourself too far trying to do all the things, it’s easy to wind up feeling stressed (and even sad) when those feelings of failure begin to pop up.

This story is from the February/March 2019 edition of Girls' Life magazine.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the February/March 2019 edition of Girls' Life magazine.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM GIRLS' LIFE MAGAZINEView All
Why aren't you and your crush together already
Girls' Life magazine

Why aren't you and your crush together already

Six reasons you aren't dating for real... yet.

time-read
5 mins  |
February/March 2024
A love letter to myself (and all the single girls out there)
Girls' Life magazine

A love letter to myself (and all the single girls out there)

This year, I’m my own Valentine. And not only is that OK—it’s kind of amazing, tbh.

time-read
5 mins  |
February/March 2024
WELCOME TO YOUR winter workout WONDERLAND
Girls' Life magazine

WELCOME TO YOUR winter workout WONDERLAND

DON'T LET THE COLD TEMPS FOOL YOU-WE'RE OFFICIALLY ENTERING PEAK FITNESS SZN.

time-read
3 mins  |
February/March 2024
Low-key missing lockdown
Girls' Life magazine

Low-key missing lockdown

Yeah, staying home was weird, but it also was kind of...nice?

time-read
5 mins  |
February/March 2024
Dear Carol
Girls' Life magazine

Dear Carol

I don’t know if my crush likes me back

time-read
8 mins  |
February/March 2024
THE PRETTIEST PARTS
Girls' Life magazine

THE PRETTIEST PARTS

Changing the way you wear your hair is quick, easy and doesn't even require a major makeover (or a single scissor snip!).

time-read
3 mins  |
February/March 2024
Lucky Girl Syndrome
Girls' Life magazine

Lucky Girl Syndrome

just became your thing

time-read
5 mins  |
February/March 2024
WHAT'S YOUR GALENTINE'S SUPERPOWER?
Girls' Life magazine

WHAT'S YOUR GALENTINE'S SUPERPOWER?

We’re 1,000% sure your besties would agree: You’re caring, supportive and pretty much all-around amazing to have as a friend.

time-read
2 mins  |
February/March 2024
Meet You at The Ballet Barre
Girls' Life magazine

Meet You at The Ballet Barre

Pull on your tights and channel your inner prima ballerina.

time-read
2 mins  |
February/March 2024
KyliE Cantrall is just trusting the universe
Girls' Life magazine

KyliE Cantrall is just trusting the universe

...and it's giving some serious heart eyes (and star power) right back.

time-read
5 mins  |
February/March 2024