Bad Sex Happens. But It Doesn't Have To Happen Again
Cosmopolitan|May 2018

Bad Sex Happens. But It Doesn’t Have To Happen Again

Julie Vadnal
Bad Sex Happens. But It Doesn't Have To Happen Again
In the midst of the #MeToo movement, bad sex is making a ton of headlines. The phrase has become an umbrella term for everything from a consensual but-lackluster encounter to borderline coercive intercourse.

Here, we’re focusing on the former: intimacy between two willing partners that falls short of satisfying. Because while all great sex must be consensual— and include communication, passion, and pleasure for both parties—not all consensual sex is great. Some is pretty damn awful, whether it’s with a one-night stand or a long-term lover.

It is possible to fix blah sessions though, says Jill McDevitt, PhD, a sexologist and sexual-wellness coach. There is never a need just to suffer through it, she explains: “Always know that you can stop and check in at any time during sex.”

Can that feel awks? Sure, at first. But it’s well worth it to have better sex. Follow this guide for how to handle a lame lust life. We have several solutions for whatever’s amiss.

TAKE CHARGE

If he goes for something unexpected and not your style but you want to keep the momentum going, say: “We can talk about that later, but what if we do this instead?” Then guide him to your favorite move.

HALT THE ACTION

Can’t deal at all? Sexologist Megan Stubbs suggests saying, “I’m not into that, so if that’s what you’re looking for, it’s not happening with me.” It’s a firm answer that clearly states your case.

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This story is from the May 2018 edition of Cosmopolitan.

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This story is from the May 2018 edition of Cosmopolitan.

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