Are You Micro-Cheating? Is He?

Hint: It’s possible. You could be doing it with your barista or the cute dude you make eyes withat the gym. And while your actions might not be shady or premeditated (they’re often subconscious), they may signal that something in your relationship needs attention.

- Mel Evans and Jessica Goodman

Micro- cheating is the term for small things you do that could have whispers of infidelity— without even being physically unfaithful—and can take you into territories you might regret. Think of it as the little sister to emotional cheating (which, some say, can hurt more than its physical counterpart…yikes).

“Micro-cheating happens when you create small opportunities for affectionate behaviors that fall outside your relationship,” explains sex and relationship therapist Tammy Nelson, PhD, author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. You may be doing it when your partner isn’t around or even in front of them and with or without their knowledge. But given that such a habit can build up to something more, it can spell trouble. Here, how to spot such borderline straying and turn it into a constructive method for strengthening, rather than chipping away at, your bond.

Warning Signs