Why Alpha Man Are Catching The Feels

In a shocking display of emotion, some ultra masculine dudes are suddenly showing vulnerability—with everything from mea culpas for bad behavior to sharing their most private thoughts. The big question: What does this shift mean for the future of relationships?

- Kathleen Newman-Bremang

Allow

Jay-Z to reintroduce himself. Since the late ’90s, the rapper has been the big pimpin’ king of hiphop—with unsurpassed money, power, respect, and one of the hottest chicks in the game (oh hey, Bey). Hova would never dare admit that a relationship was one of his 99 problems…until recently. On his latest album, 4:44, Jay seems to apologize repeatedly to his wife for being a less-than-stellar husband, rapping, “I suck at love, I think I need a do-over. I will be emotionally available.”

If that’s not enough to cue the record scratch, along with the album, Jay also released documentary-style videos with some of his famous friends, including one in which they admit their romantic fears and faults on camera. A visibly emotional Michael B. Jordan shares, “One of my biggest fears is [that] I end up being alone…not having what my mom and dad have.” Mahershala Ali confesses: “I think relationships fail when you stop learning.…That’s when they really fall apart.” And Jesse Williams calls his divorce the “most painful experience I’ve had in my life.” Not only are these quintessentially macho guys owning up to their deepest feelings, they’re parading them in front of the world.

What makes all this stunning is that for so long, the prevailing cultural expectation has been this: For a man to be a man, he needs to be strong and successful and keep his emotions in check. In fact, it was widely considered a sign of weakness for a guy to show more than a flicker of vulnerability. But as gender roles shift and merge, lots of men are fighting against that stereotype.