Should You Take A Dating Break?
Cosmopolitan|June 2017

Swipe, Match, Meet. Swipe, Match, Meet. Dating Fatigue Is Real—and a Common Problem. To Reboot Your Search for Love, Consider Tapping Out for a While.

Esther Perel
Should You Take A Dating Break?

There’s no denying that dating can be exhilarating. But from endless swiping to meeting to rejecting (or being rejected by) dozens of matches, it can also be profoundly exhausting. When you haven’t found success, and you’ve become reliant on your smartphone to try to find the person you want to be with longterm, it’s easy to grow disillusioned and resent the entire experience. I see this among my clients. People who are normally friendly, warm, and upbeat grow cold, defeated, and cynical. They’ve been through so many deceitful, “I’m just going out with you so I can sleep with you” letdowns. They tell me that they don’t believe in love anymore and question whether their expectations are stratospherically high or catastrophically low. Clearly frustrated, they even start to doubt their own self-worth.

In cases like these, I recommend taking a deliberate break from dating and treating it like a cleanse. That may sound drastic, but it works wonders for your self-care and sets you up for a more fruitful dating future. Here are your ground rules for pressing pause.

MAKE SURE THE TIME IS RIGHT

This story is from the June 2017 edition of Cosmopolitan.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the June 2017 edition of Cosmopolitan.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM COSMOPOLITANView All
the venuture
Cosmopolitan US

the venuture

One summer 2009 night, Julia's manager pulled her aside. A silver-haired gentleman's date was being kind of loud and messy-Julia should intervene, be extra nice to him. She got the okay to take the man up to the roof for a quiet smoke. This guy must be a big deal, she thought.

time-read
10+ mins  |
Spring 2024
VICTORIA
Cosmopolitan US

VICTORIA

Monét fans are having a thrilling 2024. Almost perfect, really, thanks to the artist's seven Grammy nominations, including Best R&B Song, Best R&B Album, and Best R&B Performance.

time-read
3 mins  |
Spring 2024
SOUND OF NOW
Cosmopolitan US

SOUND OF NOW

Thanks to our three cover stars-Kim Petras, Victoria Monét, and Kali Uchis-the future of music looks like something entirely new. More original, more exciting, more f*ck-yesput-this-on-my-playlistright-now. Which is exactly what each of them has been manifesting all along.

time-read
3 mins  |
Spring 2024
You Deserve to Take a Dating Sabbatical
Cosmopolitan US

You Deserve to Take a Dating Sabbatical

And dare we say...you probably should?

time-read
3 mins  |
Spring 2024
The Chicest Places to Elope Right Now (Sorry, Mom)
Cosmopolitan US

The Chicest Places to Elope Right Now (Sorry, Mom)

An unforgettable vow-filled vacation with your soulmate vs. a lukewarm catered dinner with people you were forced to invite. Yeah, you get it too.

time-read
2 mins  |
Spring 2024
We Need to Talk About the Fentanyl in Your Party Pills
Cosmopolitan US

We Need to Talk About the Fentanyl in Your Party Pills

The potentially deadly substance is virtually impossible to see, smell, or taste and it's creeping into drugs you might have once considered \"safe.\"

time-read
4 mins  |
Spring 2024
I Hooked Up With My Friend's Dad on Vacation in Spain
Cosmopolitan US

I Hooked Up With My Friend's Dad on Vacation in Spain

It was an accident. It was also inevitable.

time-read
4 mins  |
Spring 2024
Black-Owned Is for Everyone
Cosmopolitan US

Black-Owned Is for Everyone

A friendly and very important-reminder from beauty editor-at-large Julee Wilson.

time-read
1 min  |
Spring 2024
Becoming a Surrogate Impacted Every. Single. One.of My Relationships
Cosmopolitan US

Becoming a Surrogate Impacted Every. Single. One.of My Relationships

It looks great on The Kardashians. But the reality can be...messy.

time-read
4 mins  |
Spring 2024
We Need to Talk About Perimenopause
Cosmopolitan US

We Need to Talk About Perimenopause

It's a milestone health experience that may come for us all...so why are we so clueless?

time-read
4 mins  |
November - December 2023