Say Yes To Rebound It Might Get You Your Guy!

They say rebounds are the worst way to get over an ex, that you need alone time to clear your head and recover from a break-up. But do they really deserve their bad rap? Clara How always thought so, but after talking to women who’ve found happiness after diving back in, she’s come away with a different perspective.

- Clara How

I’ve always been hungry for love. But I’m equally terrified of being disappointed. Which is why, even in my post-break-up agony, when I sobbed to my friends that “it hurts, it really, really hurts” and the temptation to find someone, anyone, to make the pain go away was so real, I never acted on it. My friends soothed me, gently advising me to take time out to be alone. Singlehood, good, they said. Rebounds, bad.

Four years of singledom later, I wonder if I might have taken things to the extreme. I’m now the one who comforts my weeping friends, reciting the same litany I was fed – be alone for a bit, be kind to yourself, and take the time to figure out who you are and what you want, without a plus-one.

I wouldn’t have questioned this stance if not for a conversation with a friend. Charlene* has been happily partnered up for three years, but prior to that, she’d been through something like 10 rebounds – one for almost every break-up. In fact, midway through the conversation, she said: “I can’t remember the exact number.” She doesn’t hide the fact that the rebounds were purely to help her get over each break-up, and they weren’t guys she would ever seriously date.

Charlene says diving straight back in is easier than having to confront her feelings about a split. “You go out more, dwell less on the past, and feel less depressed,” she says. After the sadness recedes, she cuts her losses. “I tell them that we’re not compatible, and then I end contact,” she adds. These fleeting encounters rarely last more than a month, and she always tells them that she’s fresh out of a relationship.