Building True Confidence

Often when we think of confidence, we think of the things we need to do to build our image.

- Rena Greenberg

Perhaps we decide we need to master a skill, whether it be parenting, gardening, or having a worthwhile career. Sometimes we think that we need to improve our physical appearance in order to gain acceptance. Although these endeavors can be quite satisfying, enriching, admirable and helpful to us, the confidence gained from these outer changes may not be true confidence, but only be temporary fixes.

Another type of false confidence that you may aspire for is a method to break through social anxiety. Often it’s the seeking of this type of confidence that will drive a person to drink alcohol, smoke marijuana or even eat certain sugar-rich foods. The goal, subconsciously, is to block out the pain of life, and the craving is for freedom and a feeling of aliveness. The problem with these methods is evident: They are but a mere illusion of true confidence.

So What is True Confidence?

True confidence is the sense that you are worthy to be exactly where you are in this moment. It is not feeling that you have to prove yourself, withdraw to keep yourself safe and protected or to earn love. In essence, true confidence is returning to the state you were in when you came into this world, a state of love and openness—while maintaining the wisdom you have gained from the life you’ve lived.

Regardless of your past, you can start over and embrace the innate confidence that was your birthright. Have you ever see an insecure baby? No! A baby knows he or she is supposed to be here and doesn’t question his or her value. The truth is that you have value just because you are here, alive and breathing in this moment. That’s it. It is not because of what you say or do. You don’t need to earn love—you ARE love!

The Walls We Build