Playboy Advisor

Sex columnist Anna del Gaizo offers some “fatherly” advice to a woman who can’t bite her tongue in the bedroom. Plus, advice on rolling in the hay, shower sex and separation anxiety

- Anna Del Gaizo

Q: I think I’m addicted to calling men “daddy” during sex. It just comes out! Sometimes they’re into it; other times they freak out. I know what you’re thinking: daddy issues, right? But I have a relatively healthy relationship with my father. I never used the word in this context before my last boyfriend, when it just happened to become our sexual dynamic. Now I’m hooked. What does it mean, and what should I do?—J.K., Pella, Iowa

A: Indeed, most people assume that if you have the urge to call your sexual partners “daddy” during sex, you must have daddy issues. Most people are wrong. That argument may have held sway when Sex and the City was considered an authority on all things libidinous, but it’s a new day. You don’t have a Lolita complex either. Any adult woman — or man — with a healthy amount of self-esteem is free to get off on father-figure fantasies without needing a trip to the therapist. Thanks to the ubiquity of May- December relationships, plus Ty Dolla $ign’s immortal song “Zaddy” (though it’s important to point out zaddy and daddy denote two different personas; a zaddy is a sexy man with swag, while a daddy is an attractive older man) and the internet’s meme-ification of the word, the once salacious and incestuous moniker has become as destigmatised as anal sex.