‘My Size Does Not Define Me'

The hit show’s breakout star opens up about finding success by embracing her body—and why she still plans to lose weight

- Lanford Beard

Chrissy Metz’s first foray onto a red carpet wasn’t exactly an auspicious one. “I basically felt like I was sneaking on,” she jokes. She’d just scored the role that would kick-start her career, as the “fat lady” in the circus on 2014’s American Horror Story: Freak Show.But for the show’s premiere, she attended in a dress that came off the rack from Nordstrom, and “I brought a friend to be my date,” she says with a sigh. Two years later, as the breakout star of NBC’s smash drama This Is Us, Metz has a Golden Globe nomination under her belt and has become a red carpet regular with designers like Christian Siriano engaged to dress her. “It still hasn’t really sunk in,” she confesses, sipping from a cup of hot water with ginger. “I always watched awards shows at home. It’s crazy—flash forward, and John Travolta’s a foot in front of me. I’m elated to be here.”

With a hit show and a hot new boyfriend (she’s been seeing This Is Us cameraman Josh Stancil, 40, for four months and says, “He’s very mature. We’re in a very healthy relationship”), the 36-year-old actress has every reason to feel pretty content. But as she embraces becoming a role model for body positivity, Metz admits she still has conflicting feelings about her size. “Sometimes I feel like I’m two people: I’m proud of who I am as a person, but I do want to be at a healthy weight,” she says. “Just not for anybody but myself.”