According to a recent analysis by the Pew&nbsp;Research Center, Americans age 18 to 35 are now more likely to live at home with their parents than ever before. I&rsquo;m part of that faction&mdash;I moved back into my dad&rsquo;s house right after graduating from college and have been there for nearly two years.When you move back home, you&rsquo;re quickly reminded of all the pros and cons of your earlier life. (Pros: free food, no rent, and an overall feeling of safety. Cons: not being able to smoke weed wherever you want.) However, none of these factors explicitly contributed to my decision; I&rsquo;m living at home as long as I can because I want to spend as much time as possible with my dad before he dies.Yep. He&rsquo;s dying. No, he is not sick&mdash;nor has he been diagnosed with anything. Not yet, anyway. But some day he will die, because everyone dies. So every moment with my father must be cherished. Yes, he&rsquo;s in great health and will, hopefully, be 130 when he passes away, but it&nbsp;doesn&rsquo;t matter. He&rsquo;ll go someday. It is 100 percent going to happen because no one has ever not died before.This seems to be one of those things that people &ldquo;know&rdquo; but don&rsquo;t really know. They generally understand that the people they love will die, but they must not get it deep down, because if they did, I think they&rsquo;d be behaving more like me: spending every possible moment with their parents and panicking about their upcoming passage to the other side.My dad sits on the couch almost every night watching a movie from the &rsquo;40s. I find old movies boring because of my age and advanced ADD, but I&rsquo;ll gladly, for aforementioned reasons, sit next to him and watch him stare at the screen.He&rsquo;ll say, &ldquo;It&rsquo;s Saturday night. Why don&rsquo;t you go hang out with your friends? Go do something.&rdquo; I&rsquo;ll tell him I can do that whenever, but &ldquo;how many more times am I going to be able to sit next to my dad as he watches a movie?&rdquo; He&rsquo;ll reply, &ldquo;What are you talking about? We do this every night.&rdquo; And&nbsp;I&rsquo;ll think to myself, &ldquo;Yeah, every night &hellip; until you die!&rdquo;So I continue to behave as if my dad had a terminal illness. Every time he gives me advice or says something funny or intelligent, I&rsquo;ll start to cry a little inside because he&rsquo;s going to die and won&rsquo;t be able to tell me those things anymore.Every day he comes closer to death, and I come closer to having to live through my favorite person in the world being gone. I don&rsquo;t know how to not think about it until the time comes. That&rsquo;s not really how I roll. I like to mentally prepare myself for the worst. Every day. Preparing.Watching my father&rsquo;s last years before he dies is going well so far. We&rsquo;re spending a lot of time together, and I think he enjoys the company in the house. I&rsquo;m a nuisance during the times he would want to bring a date home or do anything else that would actually bring him joy before he kicks the bucket. I don&rsquo;t care, though. Even if he did want to be alone, I&nbsp;wouldn&rsquo;t oblige because this is about preparing myself for his death, not preparing him. He might be sick of my annoying friends or frustrated that I leave glasses in the sink or that I wake him up by making toast in the middle of the night. But it&rsquo;s OK if he&rsquo;s annoyed with me. Because I&rsquo;m more annoyed that he&rsquo;s dying in the first place.

Love You To Death

The New Yorker

THE INSTIGATOR

BLAME GAME

AMERICAN CHRONICLES - THE RIGHT TO HUG

PERSONAL HISTORY - TABULA RASA

A REPORTER AT LARGE - CONVICTION

LOADED

OUT OF THE DARKNESS

BOOKS - FORGET IT

A CRITIC AT LARGE - OFF THE LEASH

NEIGHBORLY

Consolation

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