When we come to terms with failure, we learn how to succeed at life, our experts tell Christabel Smith
We all know how it feels when things go pearshaped because we’re human, not computer chips. From doomed relationships and disastrous interviews to slopping coffee over a freshly washed shirt, it’s easy for a sense of shame to take hold. Yet, in the words of Breakfast at Tiffany’s author Truman Capote, ‘Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.’ So channel your inner Holly Golightly, knowing there’s far more to be learned from mess-ups than clear rounds.
1 OWN YOUR TRUTH
There’s no glossing over the fact that love hurts and hearts ache when a love affair ends. As well as the relationship as you knew it, you’re losing your fantasy of ‘happy ever after’ and the illusion that perfect partnerships exist. But no long-standing couple should feel their years together were a failure, when there was kindness, support, camaraderie, and laughter along the way. When you emerge from grief, says divorcée Elizabeth Day, you begin to see new opportunities and feel freer to explore them.
% DO IT In the wake of a broken marriage, friends often take sides and offer up unhealthy statements such as ‘But you were the couple to beat’. Avoid these people. Only you know your own truth and it’s for no one else to judge.
2 CELEBRATE POSITIVES
If your children (of all ages) are feeling like failures, resist blaming your will sap your strength and help no one. The Child Mind Institute (childmind.org) helps parents teach their kids how to fail by empathizing with their frustrations, then talking through failure as being an inevitable part of life. Even primary school kids can begin to understand how perseverance and resilience can help you thrive.
This story is from the October 2019 edition of Woman & Home.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the October 2019 edition of Woman & Home.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
LOVE is LOVE? It's different for everyone
As a gay parent, Lotte Jeffs is simply encouraging her five-year-old daughter to follow her heart
BANK HOLIDAY BAKES
Showstopping sweet treats the whole family will love
I worry about my BROTHER'S FUTURE'
Author Claire McGowan on growing up with her disabled brother, David
Your GREEK ISLAND GUIDE
Find the perfect Hellenic summer getaway with our round-up of sun-soaked isles
Your SPRING CLEAN GUIDE
Make your home shine this season with clever tricks that are better for the planet
HOW OLD is your BODY?
Whatever decade you're in, find out if you're as fit and healthy as you could be
Simple SELF HYPNOSIS for success
Stuck in a rut? Learn the mindset secrets that could help you live your best life
Do you need to use AZELAIC ACID?
Heard the hype about this new wonder ingredient? Sarah CooperWhite finds out why you might need it in your regime
Is politeness DEAD?
Certainly not... manners cost nothing, says leading etiquette coach William Hanson
Finding my LONG-LOST SON
Last year, author Lesley Pearse wrote in w&h about tracking down her mother’s family. Now that moment has led to another wonderful reunion