More Than A Feeling
NEXT|November 2019
Deborah (safely) goes off medication and discovers there’s a whole side of life she’s been missing out on
Deborah Hill Cone
More Than A Feeling

I am sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, to get my son immunised for measles. (Long story, don’t judge, better late than never.)

They have the radio on and they are playing a terrible song.

Actually, it might be the worst song ever. It is called ‘The Power of Love’. You might know the Céline Dion version but this is Jennifer Rush and she does that warbly vibrato thing with her voice, which is probably the 1984 version of vocal fry. And the lyrics are ridiculous. “I hold on to your body, and feel each move you ma-a-ake.” There are ’80s electronic drums that sound like a monkey banging on a wet cardboard box.

But now I find that the stupid song is making me cry. Proper crying; sobbing – there will be snot.

A mother next to me who is wearing tweed Chanel boots shifts away a little. Her child is wearing a private school blazer. (A lot of badges, but maybe no badges given for showing emotion.) But I can’t help it; the tears just keep coming in that shuddery way. And you know why I am crying? Not because I’m a basket case or need to see my psychiatrist. Not because I’m stuffed. Not this time.

This story is from the November 2019 edition of NEXT.

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This story is from the November 2019 edition of NEXT.

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