Politeness Is Still Priti Important

Our heroes may be flawed, and might even on occasion fly off the handle, but none would dream of forgetting their manners.

- Vanessa Feltz

I ’M WORRIED about Priti Patel’s “ally”and what he or she said in defence of the Home Secretary’s conduct, the stand-out detail of which is that she told civil servants they were “******* useless”. Added the ally: “People in real life do not carry on as if everything is like an Enid Blyton novel, and sometimes things go wrong and people say things out of frustration that they would not say to their mother.”

The nameless but foolish ally has failed to grasp so many crucial matters. Firstly, for heaven’s sake, get your Blyton right. Things do go rampantly wrong in Enid Blyton novels. That’s the whole point. She thrives on chaos, confusion, mistaken identity, unfairness and thwarted hopes and dreams.

Dip into the Famous Five for five minutes and you’ll know the score. Read Noddy and ask if life is tranquil. Check in with The Naughtiest Girl In The School and wallow in the mayhem Blyton unleashes.

No wonder lashings of ginger beer – the writer’s version of the drowning of sorrows – are frequently imbibed. All is far from calm in Blyton-land, but all remains innately courteous. Our heroes may be flawed, and might even on occasion fly off the handle, but none would dream of forgetting their manners.