Playboy Sweden|October 2019
The Only Thing More Terrifying Than Sex-ed Scare Tactics Is The Way I Treated My Mechanical Child.
I was walking down the street not too long ago, and I overheard a full adult woman say, “I didn’t know you could get pregnant on your first try!” That’s when I realized the world desperately needs better sex education.
I’m including myself in that statement. I had a mortifying moment in college when one of my friends explained how the guy she was sleeping with only wanted to do “doggy style.” I responded, “That’s crazy.
He only wants to do anal?” There was silence, and one of my friends slowly asked, “So…do you think when dogs have sex they’re always doing it anally?” And I guess when you say it out loud, it sounds dumb. Of course they’re not always doing it anally — most of them save that for birthdays and bribes. But I wasn’t thinking of the logistics of canine coitus. I honestly wasn’t thinking of sex at all, because I was taught not to.
I was raised in Indiana, and my sex education was pretty much “don’t.” I remember a slide show of STIs in my middle school health class featuring images of cauliflower sprouting out of someone’s ass, or blood and pus oozing from someone’s eyeball, and those were used as evidence for why we should abstain. I went to a public school, so they weren’t telling us to save ourselves for religious reasons — they just weren’t telling us anything.
Our class participated in the Baby Think It Over program, in which students take care of a robot baby to learn how hard it is to care for a human baby. I guess we were supposed to “think over” whether or not it’s worth it to have kids while still in school. I had killed multiple Tamagotchis by this point, so I wasn’t feeling good about my chances of being a good robot mom, but I wanted to at least pass the assignment.
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