Love In The Time Of Comedy - A Conversation With Nicole Byer

Looking for love while bringing laughter to the masses is not easy; a comedian offers hard-won tips

Nicole Byer can be found judging earnest baking projects as a host of the new Netflix series Nailed It!, and she talks a whole lot about nailing other things on her podcast Why Won’t You Date Me? But the one thing she hasn’t nailed, as the title of the latter show implies, is the art of the long-term relationship. In her inimitable phrasing: “I’ve never been in a relationship where someone has farted on me and we’re, like, cool about it.” But LTRs be damned, Byer is a geyser of wisdom on the mysteries of love —wisdom that we men (including one very famous DJ) should heed. — Tim Donnelly

PLAYBOY: On your podcast you interview guys you’ve hooked up with. What have you gleaned from those conversations about how we can be better at dating?

BYER: We don’t want you to ghost us. You can tell me that you are not into me; you can say, “I had a great time, but I truly don’t see this going anywhere. I’ll never text you; I’ll never call you. If you text or call me, I’m going to be nice about it and say, ‘Maybe we should hang out on Thursday,’ but guess what — Thursday doesn’t fucking exist.” You can be mean. You can literally tell me, “I fucked you once and I never want to fuck you again,” and you’re not going to hurt my feelings.

PLAYBOY: Is that true? A lot of guys think just saying nothing is gentler.