Dear Playboy Advisor Can Weed Help Me Revive My Sex Life?

Ashley Manta, a.k.a. the CannaSexual, offers her broadspectrum expertise on cannabis in the bedroom—from strains to suppositories

- Ashley Manta

Q. I’m a 34-year-old woman and I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. When we moved in together last year, our sex life started to feel routine. We’re both using the same moves we’ve used since the beginning of our relationship. They sort of work, but I find myself getting bored. When I try to tell him this, he gets defensive and makes it seem like I’m saying he’s a bad lover. I’m not! I’ve seen articles about couples using weed to connect more honestly and make sex feel better, but every time I walk into a dispensary I’m overwhelmed by the selection. Plus, asking the person behind the counter about my sex life feels like TMI. Can you help me?—B.A.,

A. Most couples struggle with this at one point or another, especially when they’ve been together for a while. We live in a culture in which most, if not all, of our sexual knowledge comes from trial and error: We go by past experience and what we see modeled in porn and popular media. Adults often operate under the misguided belief that they should just know how to have sex. The reality is, it’s not that simple. Even past experience gets you only so far, because each new partner is different and people’s needs and responses change over time! This is why it’s so important for partners to be able to talk to each other openly and to give and receive feedback without taking it as criticism.