Pecans, Vegans, Runners, and Other Nuts

As I write this my bags are packed, I'll need to move and change my name as I expect a visit from the Animals liberation Army.

- Kennesaw

While they may not advocate the eating or using of any animals products, they have no such reservations about shooting a meat chomping, country boy.

I ran five miles a day for over five years, all the while smoking three packs a day; it really toasted the other runner's shorts. One day while running I realized no one was chasing me.

I decided I would never run again, unless someone was.

Later when overseas and involved in Martial Arts, someone convinced me that Buddha, Mohammad, Bruce Lee and Jesus were not only pals but cousins or brothers. It was during that time I became a vegetarian. I spent a year abstaining from meat, but noticed the other vegetarians I encountered were playing with less than a full basket of mixed nuts. It only took one cheeseburger to cure myself of that foolishness. If vegetarians are mixed nuts then Vegans are a nut roll.

A vegan is simply a vegetarian with an attitude, a gun and a little religious fanaticism mixed in. They walk around carrying m-sixteen's wearing those robes made famous by Moammar Gadhafi and Yasser Arafat. They carry signs saying "Kill the Killers" while yelling "Death to all those who kill".