woman & home South Africa|June 2020
I’ve celebrated my silver wedding anniversary
Remember my wedding day when we stood together outside home affairs before the ceremony? It was a boiling summer day and we were both clammy from nerves and the heat. You asked me if I was OK, and I waited for thefather/daughter Big Speech. It didn’t come; you’d always been a man who struggled to expose his heart. But as I took your arm and walked towards my new life – I saw your eyes were shiny with emotion, and it was enough.
You and Mom were married for 58 years. Most people would consider thatto be incredible, but we knew it was a roller coaster of a relationship and Mom’s depression often took us into dark corners. But then, at 79 years old, you went first, leaving Mom reeling at the loss of her sparring partner.
In so many ways my husband reminds me of you. He’s self-contained, calm and intelligent. They say women often marry a version of their dad. Way back then, on that summer’s day, a friend filmed our guests, asking each for a message to the newly-weds. When it came to your turn, you raised a glass to the camera and said, “I know they’ll be happy. He’s a good man.” As always, you were right.
Your grandsons are men
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