The Process Of Healing
Your Family|April 2018

IN BRUTAL LEGACY (JACANA), WELL-KNOWN TV AND RADIO PERSONALITY TRACY GOING, 50, WRITES ABOUT SURVIVING A VIOLENT AND ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, THE LENGTHY – AND PUBLIC – TRIAL SHE ENDURED, AND HER ROAD TO RECOVERY. THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXTRACT FROM HER MEMOIR

The Process Of Healing
“Mommy, I drew you a picture,” he yells.

And in that moment, as his words soar across the schoolyard, suddenly nothing else matters. Seeing his grey socks around his ankles and his black shoes chafing at the ground as he rushes towards me are enough to hold back the past. As he picks up speed I watch his shirt escaping the confines of too-long shorts flapping around knobbly knees. I wanted to shout, “Jelly Tots.” Those are his words always: “Mommy, I love you lots and lots like Jelly Tots.”

As I stand excitedly behind the high wire fence waiting for him to break through the open gate, it is as though my heart is a melted, glistening mass of bright gelatine. It is squidgy and hot and sticky. His smile is big and broad and toothless, his two front teeth newly missing. His eyes are crinkled closed and disappear into a face, scrunched and smiling, beneath a head of light, blond hair bleached even whiter in theshining, midday sun.

It is beautiful to see my child lost in such glee, such happiness.

He seems to have settled into Grade 1 nicely and appears to be coping well with the fact that his father is now living overseas – although he still has those inevitable moments when he is withdrawn and quiet and prefers to be alone, or otherwise insists on having me close by and within his sight. But, as the child psychologist assures me, it is acceptable behaviour given the trauma he’s had to endure.

For now, as I watch him through the diamond shapes of the fence, he is a blithe six-year-old accelerating towards his mother after an exhausting morning at big school. His small, pudgy hand is clasping a huge sheet of paper. It is almost as big as him and is billowing and crackling like a large, white sail as he approaches me.

“Look, Mom, it’s you!” he calls, pleased. “Oh, that’s wonderful,” I squeal.

This story is from the April 2018 edition of Your Family.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the April 2018 edition of Your Family.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM YOUR FAMILYView All
Beat The Disease To Please
Your Family

Beat The Disease To Please

Is saying ‘yes’ is a habit that’s leaving your own needs constantly overlooked, as you put everyone else’s needs before yours? How can you break the cycle of people- pleasing and put yourself first?

time-read
5 mins  |
June 2020
Quaran-Teens Help Them Manage Their Mental Health
Your Family

Quaran-Teens Help Them Manage Their Mental Health

Teens climbing the walls during covid-19? Restlessness isn’t the only thing to be concerned about, writes daniella renzon, community service clinical psychologist

time-read
5 mins  |
June 2020
Know Your Headache Migraine, Tension Or Cluster?
Your Family

Know Your Headache Migraine, Tension Or Cluster?

It’s common for people to refer to any splitting headache as a migraine, but this might not always be the case

time-read
5 mins  |
June 2020
Going Through A Friendship Crisis?
Your Family

Going Through A Friendship Crisis?

Is your waning social life affecting your marriage?

time-read
5 mins  |
June 2020
Life Post-Lockdown
Your Family

Life Post-Lockdown

Pandemic panic, brain fog and ocd… as you get back to life un-usual, psychologist marise swart shares some advice on some common issues that may affect your mental health

time-read
5 mins  |
June 2020
How To... Make Gluten-Free Flours
Your Family

How To... Make Gluten-Free Flours

Prepare these gluten-free flours to replace cake flour or self-raising flour in your favourite recipes!

time-read
2 mins  |
June 2020
Cosmetic Treatments: Everything You Need To Know
Your Family

Cosmetic Treatments: Everything You Need To Know

Considering a cosmetic procedure, but aren’t sure what to expect? Cape town based general and aesthetic practitioner dr jan nel offers his valuable insights

time-read
7 mins  |
June 2020
LOVING LOCAL
Your Family

LOVING LOCAL

LOCAL FASHION BRANDS ARE HELPING US BECOME MORE CONSCIOUS SHOPPERS IN THIS EVER-CHANGING WORLD, WITH THEIR BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED ECO-FRIENDLY WARDROBE PIECES

time-read
5 mins  |
June 2020
Listen Up
Your Family

Listen Up

EVER NOTICE HOW YOUR CHILD’S BIONIC EARS PICK UP EVERY WORD OF YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS, YET COMPLETELY TUNE OUT WHEN YOU REALLY NEED THEM TO LISTEN? OUR EXPERTS OFFER SOME CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE ON HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF HEARD

time-read
4 mins  |
June 2020
Blood couldn't make us any closer'
Your Family

Blood couldn't make us any closer'

THE TITLE OF ‘DAD’ DOESN’T ONLY BELONG TO SOMEONE YOU SHARE DNA WITH. THESE MEN HAVE FILLED THE FATHER FIGURE ROLE AND RAISED THEIR CHILDREN AS THEIR OWN

time-read
8 mins  |
June 2020