When you’ve clocked up years in your relationship, the excitement dies down. This happens to all marriages and is only natural. When there are jobs to do, kids to raise, a household to run and bills to pay, energy levels are depleted and you have less time to focus on each other. Now that it’s the end of the year, though, things become calmer. Use this break to rediscover the magic between you.
1 RESTORE YOUR EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
Physical and emotional intimacy are essential in any long-term relationship because they help you stay connected. ‘Bear in mind that intimacy doesn’t only refer to sexual intercourse. You and your partner can be physically intimate in non-sexual ways too, such as holding hands in public, giving each other massages and hugs, and sharing long, sensual kisses throughout the day. Other forms of intimacy are emotional (sharing feelings and experiences) and intellectual (being able to stimulate each other in conversations about different topics),’ explains Durban-based psychologist Rakhi Beekrum. Also remember that in order to have a good physical relationship, you need a strong emotional bond as your foundation – which includes successfully expressing and responding to each other’s needs.
2 REAWAKEN YOUR SEXUAL CHEMISTRY
Once you’ve reconnected emotionally, that should lead you more comfortably into sexual intimacy. During the early stages of a relationship, people are more inclined to have sex because they’re still excited about the newness of the relationship and their spouse. However, it’s impossible to sustain the intense thrill of early passion and you could slowly become less attracted to your spouse.
It’s important to schedule alone time together. During this December break, focus on each other, rather than talking about the kids, the groceries and fixing the garage door.
Foreplay begins long before the bedroom. Send each other flirtatious text messages while you’re at a friend’s house, or plan how to make your night together special.
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