My deepest fear is to be overflowing with the manifestations of my dreams and feel unfulfilled.
To be surrounded by people I value and feel alone.
To have a life full of activity and feel empty.
To have a life that is unrecognizable but still see the same sad eyes staring back at me in the mirror.
I have a tendency toward worrying, catastrophic thinking, self-judgment, attachment anxiety, self-sacrifice, resentment, and compassion blindness. But, I also have absurdly big dreams and high expectations for my life. I am my biggest obstacle.
Despite this, I’ve created a highly successful lifestyle business doing what I love. I have a wonderful husband who is my best friend and business partner. We’ve been through hell and back together, and our curses have turned out to be blessings. I have had to wrestle my demons. In fact, I still am.
I tell you this so that I can tell you the truth: my success isn’t about what I have created with my business or that I live at the beach and make my own schedule. My success is about what I’ve done to develop as a person along the way.
It’s time for someone to tell you the truth. It might as well be me.
Going for your dreams is really f-ing hard.
Living authentically, releasing the need for approval, and disappointing others to be true to yourself is really f-ing hard.
Making decisions that leave behind everything you know, including the tightly held beliefs of who you thought you were, is really f-ing hard.
This story is from the November 2020 edition of Transformation Magazine.
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This story is from the November 2020 edition of Transformation Magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
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