I love the idea of natural attraction. Isn’t it nice that when you passionately desire something it just flows naturally to your life? Oh, the joy of natural manifestation. If only! I wish it were that easy…
Buying into the idea of natural manifestation at the beginning of my personal growth journey added fuel to my frustration. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted. Why wasn’t the Law of Attraction working for me? What was wrong with me?
At the time, I was oblivious to the fact that I wasn’t using it correctly. The Law of Attraction always works. Just like the Law of Gravity, it is undeniable and inevitable, and it doesn’t require your belief.
To put it simply: The word attraction is based on action! What are YOU doing about manifesting your dream? Life will always meet you halfway. But it will never meet you more than halfway. You have to take intentional steps.
Let’s look how the Law of Attraction works in manifesting love. The important thing to remember: We attract who we are, not what we want. Often times, taking an effective action requires us to go within and address the inner limitations that sabotage our happiness. That’s the easiest—and the hardest—thing to do, but it can be done! Here are my four pillars for successful love attraction:
1. FOCUS ON YOURSELF NOT OTHERS
During my single days, when I was going on many dates in the futile search of connecting with my soul mate, the whole process felt like a drag, a complete waste of time. The men I liked weren’t interested in building a serious relationship with me. And the men who were “into me” didn’t tickle my fancy. I would also fall in love occasionally, but only to be heartbroken or betrayed shortly after.
The bottom line: I was lonely and frustrated. I wanted love, but I couldn’t find it. I started to believe there were no good men out there. And worse yet, that I wasn’t good enough to deserve love.
I couldn’t bear seeing happy couples holding hands and looking at each other with love and passion. My mind, attention and energy were focused on the outside. I was actively searching for my ideal partner “out there,” but he wasn’t there. I failed to realize that I was the cause of all my effects. I was consciously and unconsciously creating all the outcomes in my life. The quality of men I was attracting wasn’t reflecting the quality of men out there; it reflected me—my thinking, my choices, my boundaries, my awareness.
It is much easier to say, “Well, that’s just the way it is, and it is not my fault” than to take responsibility and say, “I am responsible for all my results, and I can change them.” The problem is, we can’t always see direct cause and effect relations in all our outcomes. For example, many women fail to see the link between the lack of self-love and dating unfaithful men.
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