Somewhere along the line, Pian started rationalizing her friend’s behaviour: If her pal could recognize her bad behaviour and make amends, surely the next gathering would be better. Or maybe if Pian was even nicer herself, the nastiness would stop. Pian stuck around, a response she says came from the high expectations she’d had early on for their bond. “You kind of create a lie to keep the illusion,” she explains.
We deceive ourselves from time to time—or sometimes on an ongoing basis—about major parts of our lives. We do it to stay comfortable or to avoid the inconvenience of making a big change. Ultimately, though, learning how to be honest with yourself can pay huge dividends.
Lean on Friends
According to a 2016 study in Social Psychological and Personality Science, when it comes to self-perception we tend to assume others view us positively, and usually correctly guess when someone feels that way. We are less adept, however, at recognizing when we leave negative impressions. As a result, it’s easy to stay deluded about our undesirable traits unless we’re directly told otherwise.
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