A Rock in a Hard Place

Solid advice to support someone with depression

- Erica Lenti

SHORTLY AFTER THEIR honeymoon in 2001, Christian Bouvet felt something was amiss with his wife, Myreille. When the pair had been back at their home in Montreal for a couple months, Myreille, who works as an artist and in communications, had become distant and more emotional than usual. She cried often; once, Christian came home to her curled up and cowering in the corner of their apartment.

“I couldn’t understand why she felt bad when there was no obvious cause for it and our life was going so nicely,” the 52-year-old remembers. Knowing little about mental health challenges, he tried to remain calm and assured by his wife’s side, but he felt at a loss for how to help her. “I had hoped she would get through it herself,” he says.

A psychiatrist eventually prescribed some medication for Myreille, which was intended to improve the then-44- year old's condition within weeks. But three months passed, and her depression worsened. She began losing hope that she could feel better. Bouvet says she stopped going out, opting instead to sit alone at home. Eventually, she was hospitalized. Bouvet struggled to stay positive and was unsure how to navigate the situation.

Given that about one in six Canadians will seek help for depression during their lifetime, a large number of us will at some point be in a position to offer support. Here are some tips on how to do that effectively.

Recognize and Name It

Depression is so ubiquitous, says Toronto professor of clinical psychology Robert T. Muller, that it’s sometimes referred to by professionals in his field as “the common cold of mental illnesses.” Despite this fact, it’s not always recognized by sufferers or their family and friends.