YOU WALK BENEATH a white molded archway. You’ve entered a white room.
A basketlike lamp hangs overhead; other lamps, globes of brass and glass, glow nearby. Before you is a couch, neatly tufted and boxy, padded with an assortment of pillows in muted geometric designs. Circles of faded terra-cotta and pale yellow; mint-green and mustard confetti; white, with black half-circles and two little dots—aha. Those are boobs. You look down. Upon the terrazzo nougat of the coffee table, a glass tray trimmed in brass. It holds a succulent in a lumpy ceramic pot, a scented candle with a mattepink label. A fiddle-leaf fig somewhere looms. Above a bookshelf (spines organized by color), a poster advises you to work hard & be nice to people. In the far corner, within the shrine of an arched alcove, atop a marble plinth: one lonely, giant cartoon jungle leaf, tilting from a pink ceramic tube. You sense—in a way you could neither articulate nor explain—the presence of a mailorder foam mattress somewhere close at hand.
All that pink. All those plants. All that white. It’s so clean! Everything’s fun, but not too much fun. And there, in the round mirror above the couch: It’s you. You know where you are. Or do you?
Search your brain. Swap out the monstera leaf for waxy red anthurium, work hard & be nice to people for good vibes only. Maybe the pillows were succulent-print; maybe the ceramics had boobs. it was all a dream, says a neon sign in schoolgirl cursive. You hadn’t noticed that before.
This story is from the March 2–15, 2020 edition of New York magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the March 2–15, 2020 edition of New York magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Indecent Exposure
Jerrod Carmichael's reality series attempts to excavate his deepest flaws.
Grave Mysteries
Josh O'Connor searches for the afterlife as a sad-eyed tomb raider.
Not Her First Rodeo
Beyoncé's country album is a history lesson, a rallying cry, and a missed opportunity.
How'd You Make That?
Three masterpieces, from glimmer through struggle to breakthrough.
In the Belly of the Barbz
Fear them. Cheer them. Nicki Minaj fans are sticking by their queen.
At the Altar of Korean Fried Chicken
Coqodaq's owner calls it a cathedral. It feels more like a club.
WHO ATE WHERE
119 YEARS of PUNK BREAKFASTS, UPTOWN LUNCHES, DRUNKEN DEALMAKING, and IMPOSSIBLE RESERVATIONS
Arizona's Split Reality
Ground zero for the rigged-election conspiracy, the border state could decide both the fate of the Senate and the presidency.
98 MINUTES WITH...The Lavery Family
Beloved literary couple Daniel and Grace Lavery and their partner, Lily Woodruff, are all living and working full time in their Brooklyn apartment. Now, they have to find space for a baby.
Neighborhood News: Patrolling With the Rat Czar
On a smokeout with Vermin Enemy No. 1.