How to Survive This Plague – 24 Sign Up for Couples Therapy
New York magazine|March 30 - April 12, 2020
THANKS TO TIGHT QUARTERS (and looming existential dread), couples are arguing about everything and nothing at all.
By Jane Starr Drinkard
How to Survive This Plague – 24 Sign Up for Couples Therapy

We asked New York–based clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Orna Guralnik to help a few navigate some common disputes. “It’s easy to project your anxieties about this time onto your partner,” says Guralnik. “Fighting becomes a way to play out your inner conflict.”

Daniel Stigall & Elyse Lindahl, Brooklyn

Together one month and self-isolating together at Daniel’s apartment.

E: Yesterday I made a Google doc laying out what I need our schedule to look like.

D: But I’m way too lazy to execute on it. I’m reluctant to have this written plan that defines our alone time and recreation time.

E: We need to have our separate alone time. And separate spaces. I need a workspace.

D: She carved out a nook in the corner. Elyse is way more activity-oriented and motivated and undaunted. She doesn’t have a moment of depressed contemplation, and she’s dragging me on runs every day. This document presumes we are not working at all. I’m struggling to adjust to the level of sheer activity. The moments when she goes out, I’m so relieved to be able to put on sweatpants. That’s another rule! No sweatpants before 7 p.m.

E: I follow it.

D: I didn’t follow it yesterday. We’ve had an explicit conversation about how these are not normal circumstances. When this is over, we need to have very evaluative conversations.

E: The beginning parts of a relationship, when you’re still getting to know the other person—

D: Are usually not experienced under duress.

This story is from the March 30 - April 12, 2020 edition of New York magazine.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the March 30 - April 12, 2020 edition of New York magazine.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM NEW YORK MAGAZINEView All
Good One: Ramy Youssef
New York magazine

Good One: Ramy Youssef

The comedian on the first Israel-Palestine joke he wrote after 10/7.

time-read
4 mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
Not Your Average Heartthrob
New York magazine

Not Your Average Heartthrob

Nicholas Galitzine can play himbo, Prince Charming, and Gen-Z queer iconsometimes all at once. Now, he's coming

time-read
8 mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
Northern Mexico, Just Below Canal
New York magazine

Northern Mexico, Just Below Canal

Corima has potential-and excellent tortillas

time-read
3 mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
A Tree House for Two Architects
New York magazine

A Tree House for Two Architects

Phu Hoang and Rachely Rotem built the indoor-outdoor \"Mini Tower One\" extension of their Carroll Gardens home.

time-read
1 min  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
THE ERIC ADAMS SMASH - AND - GRAB
New York magazine

THE ERIC ADAMS SMASH - AND - GRAB

It's a brazenly transactional era of government here in New York City.| FRANK CARONE is its master practitioner.

time-read
10+ mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
JEFF ZUCKER'S FLEET STREET MISADVENTURE
New York magazine

JEFF ZUCKER'S FLEET STREET MISADVENTURE

The former CNN and NBC boss wants a new media empire. Is that even possible in 2024?

time-read
10+ mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
MECHANISMS of CONTROL
New York magazine

MECHANISMS of CONTROL

Andrew Huberman has attracted millions of acolytes by preaching self-discipline and healthy lifestyle habits. But those closest to him suggest there is a darker side to his appeal.

time-read
10+ mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
Streetscape: Mark Jacobson
New York magazine

Streetscape: Mark Jacobson

Charging Ahead Baruch Herzfeld wants to end the rash of e-bike battery fires.

time-read
5 mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
461 MINUTES WITH...Hanif Abdurraqib
New York magazine

461 MINUTES WITH...Hanif Abdurraqib

The MacArthur-grant winner's unclassifiable new book is as idiosyncratic as the author himself.

time-read
6 mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024
Neighborhood News: The 'SNL' Guys' Ferry Isn't Adrift
New York magazine

Neighborhood News: The 'SNL' Guys' Ferry Isn't Adrift

Colin Jost and Pete Davidson's architect has a real plan.

time-read
2 mins  |
March 25 - April 07, 2024