Staring down the barrel of weeks if not months with my kids out of school while I both work and write a book—let’s just say this is the kind of déjà vu I do not enjoy. But now is the perfect moment to pause and send up a prayer of gratitude to your god, your Antichrist, or at the very least your boss, that you have the option to earn money while inside your house. For those of us who find ourselves in this fortunate (yet still potentially hellish) position, this is what I can tell you: I know panic, I know what it’s like to try to figure out your universe from scratch, and here’s another thing I know—you can do this. You just aren’t going to do it well. But that’s okay, none of us is.
I’m tempted to tell my kids to do what I did when I was a teenager: Take up smoking and head into the woods to hit things with sticks but be back in time for a dinner of Minute Rice and butter in front of the TV around six. Although those are not the times we’re currently living in (but are a fantastic way to get me arrested), there’s one thing we can all take away from the benevolently negligent heroes who raised Gen X:
Set the bar low.
Lower.
Keep going.
Right there.
Hello, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic with a global workforce with kids who’ve been raised to communicate with their friends via 15-second videos posted on global platforms. This isn’t a situation that lends itself to instantaneous platinum-level Little House on the Prairie–ing.
This story is from the March 30 - April 12, 2020 edition of New York magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the March 30 - April 12, 2020 edition of New York magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Indecent Exposure
Jerrod Carmichael's reality series attempts to excavate his deepest flaws.
Grave Mysteries
Josh O'Connor searches for the afterlife as a sad-eyed tomb raider.
Not Her First Rodeo
Beyoncé's country album is a history lesson, a rallying cry, and a missed opportunity.
How'd You Make That?
Three masterpieces, from glimmer through struggle to breakthrough.
In the Belly of the Barbz
Fear them. Cheer them. Nicki Minaj fans are sticking by their queen.
At the Altar of Korean Fried Chicken
Coqodaq's owner calls it a cathedral. It feels more like a club.
WHO ATE WHERE
119 YEARS of PUNK BREAKFASTS, UPTOWN LUNCHES, DRUNKEN DEALMAKING, and IMPOSSIBLE RESERVATIONS
Arizona's Split Reality
Ground zero for the rigged-election conspiracy, the border state could decide both the fate of the Senate and the presidency.
98 MINUTES WITH...The Lavery Family
Beloved literary couple Daniel and Grace Lavery and their partner, Lily Woodruff, are all living and working full time in their Brooklyn apartment. Now, they have to find space for a baby.
Neighborhood News: Patrolling With the Rat Czar
On a smokeout with Vermin Enemy No. 1.