Marie Claire Malaysia
I Chose Not to Have Kids and Im Okay With It Image Credit: Marie Claire Malaysia
I Chose Not to Have Kids and Im Okay With It Image Credit: Marie Claire Malaysia

I Chose Not to Have Kids and I'm Okay With It

I have been married for almost six years now and I still don’t have a child. In fact, I’m choosing not to have one. Does that make me a monster?

I’ve never really asked anyone that question in real life because I don’t think I need an answer from someone who’s not me. I turn 36 this year and I’ve never felt more certain about my decision before, and no, I definitely do not think that I am a monster. Of course, this has been mutually agreed upon between my husband and me since the time we were dating. We still constantly talk about it just to check if we’re on the same page. Both of us have our own reasons, but people tend to make it seem likeit’s solely my selfish decision not to have children, simply because I’m a woman.

Having children is highly romanticised, from where I come from at least, and women are still led to believe it’s the ultimate goal in life, and the only thing you need in order to feel fulfilled. Many still hold the view that having a child is the only way to live a meaningful life, but while I know many people get a deep sense of purpose and satisfaction from raising their children, it is not the only path to happiness.

My mother didn’t let me go for years until she finally realised it was a losing game. Both my brother and sister have children of their own, which is probably another reason why my mother might have stopped questioning me. I just don’t feel maternal urges, not even when I am with my nieces and nephews or my friends’ kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love children; I even get along with them and


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