The Big Disconnect
Women's Health South Africa|December 2019
Loneliness can mess with your sleep and shorten your life. Luckily, bolstering your social network and feeling better is totally possible. Let’s come together, right now
Corinne Redfern
The Big Disconnect

IT’S 19:30 ON A FRIDAY NIGHT and you just got home from grabbing a quick drink with a friend. It was great to see her, but you haven’t hung out in so long that you spent the whole time in rushed, surface-level catch-up mode (job, partner, kids – all okay? Great! Ja, I’m good too!) instead of talking about anything substantial. You scroll Instagram for a bit, but seeing everyone else having a blast with their pals only reminds you that you’re not. Dozens of buddies are a text message away, but you still can’t help feeling a gnawing emptiness beneath your rib cage. It’s loneliness. And you’re far from the only one feeling it.

We’re at the centre of what psychologists have dubbed a “popularity paradox.” Nearly half of us feel isolated or left out sometimes or always, according to a recent survey of more than 20 000 adults by health insurer Cigna. That’s saying something, given we’re more connected than ever: every day, the average person spends nearly two hours on social media and sends roughly 32 texts. Although the scrolling and liking can exacerbate rather than relieve feelings of isolation, it’s rarely the cause. The proof: social media users in the Cigna study felt just as crummy and alone as those who never log on. In fact, contrary to what you might think, the problem predates our recent addiction to smartphones and the Internet by decades, notes Dr Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychology and neuroscience professor.

A not so solitary problem

This story is from the December 2019 edition of Women's Health South Africa.

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This story is from the December 2019 edition of Women's Health South Africa.

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