The Power Of Friendship

Your closest pals are irreplaceable and life- sustaining (literally). But what is it that makes those relationships so impactful? And in the midst of everyday craziness, how can you manage to grow together rather than apart?

- Jen Doll

When you were young, it was easy:

You BFF’d your next-door neighbor, or the new girl with the rad lunch box, and spent your afternoons romping around together, seeking adventures. Nurturing friendships in adulthood is a bit more complicated, of course. There are competing commitments like work, marriages, children, and bills. But making the effort is vital—for your happiness, and your health and longevity, too. Emerging research suggests friends don’t just make our lives better; they are the antidote to loneliness and essential to our well-being. It turns out our brains are hardwired for friendship. And the payoffs for keeping your platonic soul mates close (even if you live thousands of miles apart) are immeasurable.

The Spark

What draws friends together is as simple as it is mysterious: It’s just liking each other, says William Chopik, PhD, an assistant professor of social- personality psychology at Michigan State University. Yes, we tend to gravitate toward people who are similar to us, and we bond over mutual interests. But you don’t need to have that much in common to gel. After all, says Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy, “We can be great friends with people whose lives are completely different from ours.”

It turns out the magic of friendship is kind of, well, magic. According to the authors of a 2015 study, some soon-to-be-pals experience an instant emotional and psychological connection— or as the researchers called it, “friendship chemistry.”