Dear Carol

Girls' Life magazine|June/July 2020

Dear Carol
Dear Carol


My best guy friend just admitted that he likes me. He is sweet, smart, sensitive and kind, but I don’t know how I feel about him. Sometimes I think I might have feelings for him, but I’m not sure, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship if we break up. He would make a good boyfriend, and my friends really want us to date, but I am just so conflicted with how I feel. Should I tell him I’ll go out with him to try it, or just remain friends? I don’t want either of us to get hurt.

Dear Should I Date My Best Guy Friend?

This is a hard one…for him. But to me it seems clear that right now, you don’t like-like him. The thought of kissing him doesn’t give you one single butterfly. So why push things? Maybe you can say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t really want to change our friendship.” And don’t make him your confidant if you fall for someone new. Your friendship with your BGF may go through a few growing pains since he stated his feelings aloud, but summer break will help. One more thing. You say that you are conflicted with how you feel. Actually, I think you know how you feel. You are conflicted about what to do. Sometimes when you’re not sure if you should take action, the smartest thing is not to take action.


My BFF has been ghosting me. When I asked her about it, she acted weird.

Dear Testy Bestie, That’s hard and I’m sorry. Many friends do grow apart over time. The good news is that life is not a game of musical chairs and you will make new friends. Keep saying hi and making plans and giving compliments and joining activities, and you will find new people. As for Ghost Girl, I don’t think it will help to ask her why she’s being evasive. But it’s up to you whether to issue one more specific invitation to go see a movie or grab a slice or go hiking or attend a concert or bookstore event. If she says sure, great. If she declines, then your best move, sigh, maybe to take three steps back and work harder to reach out to new kids. Maybe she’ll come around, maybe not, but either way, summer flowers will bloom and you can keep your days sunny.



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June/July 2020