A Five-Year-Old Teaches A Lesson In Grace
Reader's Digest US|March 2019

On the night the author loses patience with her mother and her dementia, a granddaughter’s love unites them all

Leslie Kendall Dye
A Five-Year-Old Teaches A Lesson In Grace
IT’S EIGHT O’CLOCK on a cold spring night. Our apartment has been hit by a cyclone—the handiwork of a young, energetic child. Every bit of furniture is draped with paper chains, scissors and Scotch tape, modeling clay, piles of acorns, and party favors.

I’m so tired tonight. I’ve been on crutches for seven weeks, recovering from hip surgery, and I’m trying fruitlessly to clean up.

The phone rings—for the sixth time in less than an hour. We know who it is.

When my mother was 68, a hemorrhagic stroke claimed her brain, but not her life. She awoke from a coma severely damaged; the bleed instantly razed the landscape of her mind. Dementia soon built a Gothic fun house of distortions where coherent architecture had once stood. She has been manacled inside for a decade, with little to do but experience psychic distress.

She is dogged by paranoia—she thinks she has been kicked out of her assisted living facility (not true), she thinks her daughters have not visited in months (it has been a few days), she thinks that her friend Jimmy never wants to see her again (he calls and visits weekly).

Each time she calls, I play a game with myself called “How Good a Person Can I Be?” I’ve won five rounds of the game tonight; I am due for a fall.

She has no idea that she has repeated the things she is about to say a million times today and a million times yesterday. She has no idea that I had surgery, nor can she recall her own granddaughter’s name. She is unaware of most of the past, and she drifts in the present. She is lonely.

This story is from the March 2019 edition of Reader's Digest US.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the March 2019 edition of Reader's Digest US.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM READER'S DIGEST USView All
GOTCHA!
Reader's Digest US

GOTCHA!

We asked for it: What's the best prank you ever pulled?

time-read
3 mins  |
March/April 2024
KITT THE COURAGEOUS K-9
Reader's Digest US

KITT THE COURAGEOUS K-9

Officer Bill Cushing needed a partner. His dog needed a purpose. Together, they rescued each other.

time-read
9 mins  |
March/April 2024
Let's Dance!
Reader's Digest US

Let's Dance!

It's good for your body, soul and even your brain

time-read
6 mins  |
March/April 2024
DISASTER ON THE RIVER
Reader's Digest US

DISASTER ON THE RIVER

Two canoeists struggle to keep themselves and their friendship-afloat

time-read
9 mins  |
March/April 2024
WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL THE STUFF WE RETURN
Reader's Digest US

WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL THE STUFF WE RETURN

Think your rejects go back on the shelves? Think again.

time-read
10 mins  |
March/April 2024
Words to Live By
Reader's Digest US

Words to Live By

Poems offered me an anchor as I lost my son, so I shared them

time-read
4 mins  |
March/April 2024
LOST, FOUND, HOMEWARD BOUND
Reader's Digest US

LOST, FOUND, HOMEWARD BOUND

A collection of heart-thumping, tail-wagging, zoomies-inducing pet reunion tales

time-read
10 mins  |
March/April 2024
Paging Dr. AI
Reader's Digest US

Paging Dr. AI

IF YOU'VE EVER Googled symptoms (and who hasn't?), you've probably scared yourself with a dire diagnosis, with no doctor there to vet the source and put the information in context. But we can't help ourselves. So can AI help?

time-read
1 min  |
March/April 2024
The HEALTHY WELLNESS FROM THEHEALTHY.COM
Reader's Digest US

The HEALTHY WELLNESS FROM THEHEALTHY.COM

A vaccine is finally on the way. In the meantime, here's how to protect yourself from ticks.

time-read
2 mins  |
March/April 2024
How to Speak Like a Midwesterner
Reader's Digest US

How to Speak Like a Midwesterner

FROM THE BOOK A GUIDE TO MIDWESTERN CONVERSATION

time-read
3 mins  |
March/April 2024