Naughty Or Nice? Find Your Sexual Archetype

Femina|December 9, 2019

Naughty Or Nice? Find Your Sexual Archetype
Have you ever wondered what sexual archetype you identify with, and what it says about your preferences when it comes to making the beast with two backs? Charlene Flanagan helps you find out
Charlene Flanagan

She made her way through a crowded bar in one of the city’s most popular night life districts. She was already late for drinks with her girlfriends, and the traffic didn’t help the situation. She rushed when she got a text: ‘I need a drink. Get your butt here, stat!’ She wondered what the emergency was, and since she needed a drink to unwind anyway, she headed straight there. Squeezing her way through the room filled with the chatter and clinking glasses of the Friday night crowd, she finally found her friends. After placing her order, she braced herself for what seemed like a long night of man-bashing. “He doesn’t know how to get me to climax,” her friend began, as soon as the waiter had placed their drinks on the table. “No matter the moans or verbal cues, he just doesn’t read my body. He hates it when I take control; he hates it when I tell him what to do or how to do it. I just don’t know if I can go on without a release much longer.”

Her problem, according to Delhi-based sexologist, Dr Mehak Nagpal, like 43 per cent of women in India, is that of sexual dysfunction. She seems like a regular martyr when it comes to sex, someone who sacrifices their pleasure for the sake of their partner’s. Dr Nagpal says, “The relationship between sexual dysfunction and psychological variables such as personality traits and coping mechanisms is not well understood by most people. Several large-scale reviews of sexuality found that biological characteristics play an important role in our sexual personalities.”

But how important is a sexual personality to one’s overall satisfaction between the sheets? Very, if studies are to be believed. Dr Nagpal explains, “Personality traits are important determinants of our sexuality and sexual health. They help establish an ideal lifetime sexual partner, an individual’s involvement in casual sex, infidelity, sexual orientation, homophobic attitudes, symptoms of sexual dysfunction, sexual risktaking, sexual harassment, and sexually-aggressive behaviour.”

In fact, studies have identified various sexual preference archetypes—the dominant, the submissive, the repressed, the entitled, and the martyr. US-based clinical sexologist, certified sex coach, multi-certified sexual health and wellness educator, and intimate health specialist, Sunny Rogers, says, “I believe that every woman shares a bit of all of these sexual preference archetypes but has one that she identifies with. To determine her sexual preference or personality, several sessions and discussions need to take place. Many women don’t know what they want. Reading erotica and speaking with intimate health advisors are ways to discover the sexual options, and if they identify with them.”

If you’re wondering which archetype defines you, our quiz might just help you identify your preferences and find your fit:

WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL PERSONALITY?

Q When it comes to quality time with your partner, do you find yourself…

a) Always initiating sex and taking control

b) Agreeing with your partner, and doing what you’re told

c) Finding ways to trick your partner into sex, even if they’re not in the mood

d) Feel like you’re constantly neglected or being taken advantage of

e) Think that you shouldn’t engage in sex for pleasure because it’s wrong

Q While in the act, do you ensure that…

a) You make suggestions, and expect your partner to obey

b) You obey your partner, even if you’re uncomfortable

c) Your sexual needs are met no matter what

d) You ask for what you want but let it go when you’re ignored

e) You undermine your desires and curb your excitement

Q When it comes to experimenting…

a) You believe sex is fun, the kinkier the better

b) You prefer to be bossed around

c) You just do what you want because you can

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December 9, 2019