‘Poop Cruise’ descends into horror show

FLUSH WITH DISASTER

- BERNELEE VOLLMER

THIS documentary is not for the faint-hearted, and when I say that, I mean it. If you're easily grossed out, then maybe stick to a cooking show, because Trainwreck: Poop Cruise is exactly what it sounds like, a holiday that turned into a s***show.

What starts as a luxury cruise turns into a stinking, sewage-filled disaster that unlocks a fear I didn’t even know I had.

When most people think of cruise holidays, they picture cocktails on sun loungers, that corny Titanic pose with your partner at the bow, and overly friendly staff offering you a smile at every turn.

It's supposed to be endless sunshine, buffets big enough to feed a small country, lots of sex apparently and just the right amount of chaos at the karaoke bar. Cruises are often sold as floating hotels, clean, safe, self-contained little worlds on water. But this ship? This was not that.

The Carnival Triumph, which held over 4 100 people, was meant to take passengers on a two-day trip. Easy stuff, right? Wrong.

Just as people were getting into their holiday groove, sipping daiquitis and applying their third layer of sunscreen and coming off a babalas (hangover), a fire broke out in the engine room.

Just darkness. Total blackout.