It's Time To Finally Share My Story

After Years Of Suffering In Silence, The Music Icon Opens Up About Her Battle With Bipolar Disorder—and Why She Finally Got Help

- Jess Cagle

Even though she plays a sometimes over-the-top diva in public, Mariah Carey is considerably more subdued in person—smart, savvy and reserved. She’s also a serious musician. One of the most successful singer-songwriters of all time, she has sold more than 200 million records and has been instrumental in bringing hip-hop and R&B into the mainstream. But her erratic behavior over the years has also mystified her fans—and has led to speculation that she suffered from mental illness. Now, for the first time, Carey, 48, is opening up about her battle with bipolar II disorder, a disease that can cause extended periods of depression as well as manic episodes known as hypomania (see sidebar on page 47). After years of suffering, she recently began treatment on the heels of what she calls “the hardest couple of years I’ve been through”—years that included upheaval in her professional life, romantic drama that played out in public and an E! reality show.

Carey—whose parents divorced when she was 3—has often alluded to her struggles in her music. She says the lyrics of her 1997 song “Outside” chronicle her feelings about growing up biracial: “Early on, you face the realization you don’t have a space where you fit in....” In 2002’s “Through the Rain” she wrote about her own despair and determination: “When you keep crying out to be saved but nobody comes, and you feel so far away that you just can’t find your way home, you can get there alone. It’s okay...”