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In this issue

Her Name Is Elena Santarelli She’s an Italian…in her 30s…and rocking’ some pretty funny 90s tattoos that don’t really offend me enough to not stare at her old model ass in a bikini…apparently…she’s been on TV…and she’s’ affiliated with Elisabetta Canalis…but I could be wrong…because her wikipedia is in Italian…as she doesn’t matter in the english speaking world…and probably never will matter in the english speaking world…because she’s not in her 20s…it’s just life of a woman…it all falls apart at 29…crashes and burns yo’…but this chick is still good enough for me…but in my defence…so is rotting sandwich meat….or the female equivalent…I got low standards…

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